What does it say about our society when the news of Jon and Kate divorcing is the 2nd most read article on CNN.com (#1 for a good portion of the day)?
Does it reflect that people care more about the “news” surrounding the Gosselins then they do about the news of political turmoil in Iran? Or perhaps is it that more people can relate to the Gosselins as almost everyone in our country has been affected in a close personal way by divorce? Perhaps it’s the novelty of their situation with 8 kids (6 of which came at one time) and a tv show? In any case their personal life and failures have become the news of today. It is indeed sad news.
After reading the article and then getting a feel for America’s response via the comments I was surprised how many people ran over Kate and gave Jon a pass. It is obvious her priorities got out of whack and that she tended to be bossy, but I’ve got a different take on the situation. Put simply Jon has failed to lead his wife, his children and his home and now EVERYONE in their family is paying a steep price. It all comes back to him – he could have lovingly told her “no” a long time ago to a myriad of things – he could have said “no” to the tv show at any point during the past few years, he could have said “no” to her speaking engagements, he could have said “no” to her book promotions. He could have said “no” to their combined selfishness. He could have said “no” to “hanging out” with women not named “Kate Gosselin”. More importantly he could have said “yes” to leading his wife and kids. He could have said “yes” to marriage counseling. He could have said “yes” to the biblical charge he was given. He could have said “yes” to his commitments.
Instead he just went down the road of the average “husband/man” (Christian or not) and lived in Pansyville for years until he finally got tired of living in Pansyville and realized he could “be liberated”. The following comment by Jon proves my assessment to be accurate. “I just let her rule the roost and do whatever she wanted,” Jon said. “Now I finally stood up on my own two feet and I’m proud of myself.” Notice even here the deceitfulness of sin. He doesn’t just say that he has sinned and failed and that he is sorry, no he is “proud” of himself. I can tell you after being alive for almost 34 years and having read the Bible that there are only two responses people have when they are confronted with their sin – one is “godly sorrow that leads to repentance” and the other is “I’ve made the right decision, and I am proud of myself.” Most people go with the latter time and time again.
Men, the bottom line is that we have stop hiding behind the excuses of her inadequacies and do better. During the past few weeks, I’ve been working on an article entitled “Contentious wife equals terrible life” with the focus being on practical things we husbands need to do in order to avoid the situation where you would rather sleep on the roof (or with another woman) than with your wife. I’ll have it posted by Thursday.
Final thought on the Gosselins, If you have access to God through praying in the name of Jesus, then say a prayer that they would turn to Jesus and have reconciliation. If you took the time to read the news or to read this post then you can take a minute and do that.
Love 
June 23, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Very well spoken!
June 23, 2009 at 9:54 pm
This was an excellent overview of such a terrible situation. You’re right – this could have been avoided had the husband been a leader! David, my husband, calls it the “Wussification” of America – passivity. It’s easier to NOT have a confrontation or to just sit back and let the other person do the work. Both individuals are in the wrong here and it is truly sad because they have labeled themselves as Christians (at least in the beginning). They are what non-Christians will look at and say “Hey, they are JUST like us.” You’re right about Jon’s response – “proud of himself”?! Really?! I was just so sad at the entire situation and how this is NOT God’s will. His will for a married couple is for the husband to lead and for the wife to be submissive. When neither of those things happen, the marriage fails. I WILL keep them in my prayers…they need God’s comfort right now.
June 24, 2009 at 8:34 am
I hate “reality TV shows”. I’d rather watch Star Wars and KNOW it is fiction while enjoying the story and learning some great parables along the way.
When someone asked me yesterday, “Can you believe that John and Kate are getting a Divorce?” I replied, “Who?”.
Unless one has been divorced personally, then one has NO idea what the couple experiencing this horrible, never easy situation is going through OR feeling.
Only God knows the details and that is why I choose to love and support anyone going through Divorce (on TV or in my neighborhood).
Being divorced twice and now at age 34 I am disgusted at how many “Christians” have turned me away, declined my offers for service and simply look at me in shame when they have no idea what I went through. All they can do is quote the same Bible passages over and over while I ask the same question…”God, you forgive and encourage me to go forward…why can’t your Church and people do the same?”.
John and Kate…plus 8…. whatever. Bless both of them and may they and their chidren find the truth path to Heaven through this pain.
J.
June 24, 2009 at 8:49 am
Chet, you are right on the money. Excellent post. I saw some of the show and noticed that they both stated that it was “best for the kids” to separate rather than have arguing parents. Clearly there is no truth to that idea. In fact, there is value in kids seeing parents resolve conflict. As a pediatrician, I see kids all the time whose lives are destroyed by divorcing parents. Not surprisingly, these kids go on to experience depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and risky sexual behavior. Pray for that family and especially for those children.
June 28, 2009 at 7:26 am
[…] Another home-divorced […]
June 29, 2009 at 7:51 pm
YOU GOT IT! and i have been praying since the beginning of this that this marriage will be saved, and God will be glorified! does anyone remember that they profess to be Christians and Jon used to wear Christian t-shirts? marriage is one of God’s instruments to make us more Christlike. to bail out you miss mucho blessings, and ONE reason God hates divorce is b/c it hurts us.
June 29, 2009 at 9:15 pm
It is very sad…but I agree w/ a statement Kate made that this would have happened w/ or w/o the show. Their marriage has been in trouble for a while. The sad part is that instead of stepping up to the plate, he took the easy way out.
What I don’t agree w/ Kate about is “as always, my #1 priority is the children.” WRONG answer. Your priority is your husband. THAT’s why the marriage is in trouble. It hasn’t been a priority. I saw this coming years ago…she said they didn’t have time to work on how they spoke to each other. Well, now they have lots of time, but not anyone to work with. very sad.
June 30, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Hmmmm… I can agree, but only partially. I agree that one partner (Kate) got addicted to the baleful counterfeit that is ‘reality TV.’ And I would say that the partner who can see the addiction and its resulting damage has the responsibility to ‘speak the truth in love’ to the partner with that problem. The issue is not control of another (good luck with that), but truth, trust and faithfulness.
June 30, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Hey Erich,
Thanks for the comment – but i don’t think you got what I was saying – i didn’t talk about controlling – i talked about leading – and sometimes that means saying no.